Monday, January 5, 2009

At 3 am

So some certain someones (what a nice alliteration, ya think?) were talking in my room (ahem, I mean, in the next room, but their little voices were in my room because of my poor decrepit and paraplegic walls-- this is not to say that paraplegics are decrepit, just that my walls are because they flake dust all over the house and I have to wear slippers all the time and worry about breathing it in my lungs) at 3 or 4 am, and after they decided to quiet down (still love you guys) I was left to my thoughts.
Why are thoughts so LOUD when you're trying to go to sleep?
This is what I typically think about at 3 am:

I did not pay my car insurance bill that was due on January 1st.

WHY did I not PAY my CAR INSURANCE BILL?!?!?!?

I cannot believe I did not pay my car insurance bill!!!!!

I should get up right now and pay it. They are probably going to charge me at least $60 for not paying it on time.

I should make up a really sad story about the flood and how I could not find my car insurance bill so I totally forgot to do it.

This is not entirely true. Hmmm.

Will I go to Hell if I tell them this, even though I thought about it several times before January 1st and just thought, "Oh, whatever, I'll do it when I have some time"?

I probably won't go to Hell if I just tell them that I've been stressed out since the flood, and imply that I did not know where the actual bill was located, 100%. I mean, it was somewhere on the shelf in my living room, but I'd have to look for at least 30 seconds before I found it. It's not like I just SAW it on my to do list. But then again I don't have to do lists. I just rely on my increasingly awful memory to pay bills. On sort of time, lately.

Okay, so I'll just get up really really early, and call them, and be really nice about it.

AUGH. I cannot BELIEVE I did not PAY my CAR insurance bill.

I should think about something else. This is not helping me fall asleep.

Wait a sec. Did I pay my credit card bill?

I am going to kill myself. God, I promise to pay my bills on time forever and ever after if you just click your little button up there that says I paid my credit card bill on time. I mean, I totally have the money. You can do that, right?

SIGH. I just have to think of something else.

Man, I really really hope no one ever decides to try to kidnap Amaya. That would be SOOOOO scary. What would I even do if that happened? It would probably happen while I was watching her, and everyone would blame me. But I totally would not mean for that to happen. God, I promise to watch Amaya every second of my life as long as you protect her from being kidnapped. Probably what would happen is she would walk away from the house and someone would pick her off the highway, and I'd be running around Pam's house yelling for her and have no idea what is going on.

Yes. I totally do think of this. All. Night. Long. Or at least until 6:15 am, and then Amaya wakes up at 6:30 am for her milk.

So what was the last thing I actually thought before I fell asleep?

Hmmm. When am I supposed to have my period? Am I late? What day is it?

I tell you, if I get pregnant the second I finally make it to my pre pregnancy weight after this awful hideous gosh darn diet, this would so just be a kick in the balls.

God, I promise not to kick anyone in the balls as long as I get to enjoy being normal size for at least a month. I think that promise also includes your help in losing 7 more pounds. Thanks.

23 comments:

iMaLLheaRt said...

I think a lot before I go to bed too. you know what could help with the paying bills on time? since you have Gmail, you can use their calendar. I use it ALL the time and it helps me remember to do it. cuz it can email you reminders a day before, a week before and you can colorcode stuff...just in case you didn't know. it might help with the freaking out while I'm trying to go to sleep-ness.

iMaLLheaRt said...

and you're at your pre-pregnancy weight?! lucky! I'm so jealous!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha. This is probably way funnier at 1:13 a.m. when I'm trying to go back to sleep after my 3 boys barged into our room just as we were eating our fortune cookies (which we only do once a year because I'm on a fortune cookie diet) and they pointed and giggled themselves silly until I couldn't stop giggling either because my husband couldn't quite get the sheet out from under him.

Anywho, you didn't hear that from me!

Oh, you need to get those automated bills thingies for your car insurance. And you need some full walls. The kind that go all the way down to the floor.

And did you read my comment box . . . the comment from MOM, who used to be my boss when I was a nanny. She told the story of when I was babysitting and her daughter ran away and some stranger danger guy found her wandering on the highway and he brought her back. She was about 3. Yea! That was totally the most anxiety I've ever felt. I would hate to be blamed for a freak kidnapping or, heaven forbid, death.

Anywho . . . (did I already say that?) I hear ya.

May your period cometh speedily.

sienna said...

ahh. sounds miserable. too bad some people stole all your pregnancy tests. automatic bill pay is great. now all we have to do is remember to have enough money in there at the right time that all of the bills appear and the money magically disappears.

Rebekah said...

This made me laugh because I think I have had that exact same train of thought in the middle of the night. Chris wants to know why I'm so tired in the morning. Sometimes it's because of the boys and sometimes it's just me and my thoughts.

Happy thoughts your way!

Kristina P. said...

Drugs. Lots and lots of sleepy pill drugs. That will solve all of your problems.

Masayuki said...

This is probably the best thing I've read ALL YEAR! Wow, how many people have told you that? Anyways, I'll try and call you sometime this week. School is starting, and I've got some pretty sweet classes. Classical Japanese and all. Oh boy...

Mariko said...

Wow. Thanks, Keg, for the riveting compliment.
The infamous exclamation point isn't due for at least a week, so I'm worrying a little early. I like to do that.
Amaya did make it down the block and a scary stranger brought her back.

Melinda said...

it's fun to see inside your mind, mariko.

i hate worrying about bills. that would keep me awake at night, too. good thing here in samoa they're pretty relaxed about bills. since the bill comes in the mail after its due date.

i have an extra pregnancy test if you need it, i wont' use it for another two years.

(i was so happy to see photos of your new years feast. robbie raved about it.)

Mariko said...

By the way, Crash, I didn't acknowledge your fortune cookie comment, but I KNOW what you're talking about, you naughty girl.
I do NOT need a pregnancy test. No no no. I refuse to touch one because of the magic box I picked up at costco a couple of months ago.
Just looking at one is going to make me pregnant.

April said...

Hi Mariko, I wandered over from Crash's site...I loved this! I can't relate to all these wild thoughts before falling asleep. I just crawl into bed and I'm out. And if you believe that....you shouldn't teach kids, they'll walk all over you!

Heidi Ashworth said...

I highly recommend having your bills paid online via automatic deduction. It has done wonders for my sleep! Then again, you won't have so many funny things to blog about if you do. Do it online, that is. (but not fortune cookie style--that leads to your period not starting)

Liz said...

Hi Mariko,
I'm Liz. We half met (b/c I'm socially inept and because I was running to resolve all of my adolescent issues with a third viewing of Twilight. . . and dragging my husband along with me). But if I wasn't inept both in my teen years and at present time, I would've pulled it together enough to properly introduce myself and tell you that I read (and love) your blog and that I love your writing (like this post) and that Jake is very blessed to have met you (I remember when he liked watching Beavis and Butthead . . . and I also remember when he was turning into a brooding artistic hunk. thank goodness he stayed the latter) and that I hope all is well for you guys after the flood.
So there. It really was fun to recognize you b/c I don't think I've ever seen you in person before! Oh, and I had a pack of sushi stuffed under my jacket so the movie folks wouldn't catch me. I'm inept and dishonest but can we still be twitter buddies?? :)
nice meeting you.

Robbie said...

ditto what your brother said about this post! I think it's time for you to start writing your book. I want to read it already!

Mariko said...

Hey Liz. Yeah, I knew who you were as soon as you said your name. I've blog stalked you many times (via Jill) and I was happy to see you on twitter! So I kind of knew you, even though I didn't know your face. We were in a hurry to watch a 3 hour movie ourselves, so no worries, I didn't think it was weird at all. If you're socially inept, I'm just inept.
Koolau theater must be magic, because I just saw Crash there for the first time too.
Everyone thinks I'm an idiot because of the auto bill pay thing, WELLLLLL, geico says it won't let me pay that way. I have to authorize it every time. And for some reason my credit card will only allow me to pay a set amount every month or the minimum. Maybe I'm an idiot. I can't figure it out any other way. But I'm DEFINITELY using google calendar now.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

hahahahahaha!

Oh my gosh...I love that someone is as crazy as I am! That's great!

And I also second others who have said to get automatic bill pay...only there are some bills i STILL have to pay on my own because I can't relinquish all control! :)

And your daughter...is BEEE-UTIFUL!

The Wife said...

Mariko your blog always make me laugh, thank you. I so do this exact thing, often. You are just so good at putting it into words. I really do follow your blog, I guess I should comment more. Feel free to look at mine. It isn't nearly as entertaining though.

Damaris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Damaris said...

It would be fabulous if you were pregnant even if you don't think so. Sorry I dropped your last pregnancy test down the toilet. Darn! I bought the costco magic pregnancy test box. I have unopened ones ready to send them your way if you so desire.mo

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You've got quite a mind running around at 3 in the morning! How do you keep up? This is why I must fall asleep with the tv on. Can't get my mind to shut up otherwise.

Smiths said...

I get the "I can't stay awake any longer Jill, sorry. Stop thinking and go to sleep." from Micah all the time. I think I have to organize my life in that brief quiet moment at night or I can't sleep. It's often the only quiet time I get all day. Fortunately it's rarely at 3 in the morning. I think the posible pregnancy would definitely keep me up and get me bargaining with God too. Whatever happens, you are living proof that parents can survive jsut about anything. Now, GET SOME SLEEP!

iMaLLheaRt said...

I would do the automatic bill pay but I'm still like iffy about that only cuz I know I don't always have the appropriate funds in my account ALL the time!! So I might get charged from the bank for overdrawing but yeah man, google calendar has saved my butt several times! I like to input the due date of the bill earlier just so I don't get in trouble if they take like forever and a day to process it even though you did pay by that day...ANYWAY...

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I loved this post. I feel the same way at times with all those thoughts just running around like wild indians. And puzzels totally rock big time.