1. I saw a car with the license plate "Big Dan." When I saw the guy driving it, I thought, "That is not Big Dan. Maybe I should call the police and told them someone stole Big Dan's car." I think people should consider the case of mistaken identity when they get personalized plates.
2. The word "hardly." Think about it. I can't stop thinking about it.
3. If I go out and get exercise, in order to stop looking this way, then people will see me looking this way. They will think things like, "Looks like another New Year's Resolution." It's an excuse, but it's a dang good one, I think.