I was in trouble a lot yesterday, and it got me thinking that I'd like to hire a professional scapegoat. This would be someone I could refer to by name any time blame was needing to be placed. Not only that, this person would gratefully accept the blame, apologizing to any and all parties for his/her involvement, and could keep me out of focus for any responsibility I played in the incident. I could escape guilt free, breathe my sigh of relief, and let go of the stress associated with being in trouble. People might even be happy to shift the blame onto this other being, and view me in a light of compassion for having to deal with and transfer the accusation.
The first incident involved "postsecret", and I can't remember where I heard about it but I think it was on someone's blog (see how I didn't point any fingers?). I told my class about it and one of the parents e-mailed me, my principal, and visited my classroom within the space of about 4 hours. She went on and on about how she could have my job over this, but she was trying to be nice about it and let me have this mistake. Just once. Oh, and thank me for doing a good job, but, oh boy, just wait until other parents hear about this. My teeth were on grit for most of the day. I can't wait to see what she thinks of some of my literature choices.
The second incident involved me, as a department head, and how I had gotten involved in a coworker's supposed directions during a state required writing test. The report was that she had told students to write in cursive (something she requires in her class). She denied the accusation, and it turned into something much bigger than necessary. I was in trouble because I knew who the accuser was but refused to tell her who, and because I had passed the problem along to our principal, since I knew I would be in trouble about it if I had been the one to deal with it. I had to deal with it anyway, turned out.
Jake just took Amaya on a hike so that I could get some work done. I suppose I'll need a scapegoat for this too. Any volunteers?