Friday, October 19, 2007

Old-ing

Today, I'm 27. I expect a lot for my birthday, but not necessarily from other people. Sometimes other people play into it, but it's not really dependent on friends, family, etc. I have an expectation that the universe is supposed to deliver some sort of vibe on your birthday. This can play out good or bad, but the vibe, that's what I expect. Like, if something bad happens, say, I can't find my cell phone and I forgot to tell Jake that I get out of school early today and I waste the whole precious hour and a half walking around school with my crate full of papers and my lunch bag, then that's the vibe from the universe, acknowledging my birthday. Or, if the card from my parents shows up on the exact day of my birthday, therefore relieving me of the temptation to open it early and ruin the feeling of birthdayness associated with opening presents, then that's also the universe (yes, both of these scenarios did occur today). I kind of enjoy the game, and if I receive acknowledgment of my birthday from the universe, I appreciate it. Otherwise, it just doesn't feel right.
This picture is the message I got from Lucas Hancock today. It's nice of him to remember. He also remembered to tape my pens together and my computer mouse to the counter. Good ol' Lucas.
The other thing that happens every year is that I worry that I'm getting older faster than I'm getting things done. During the year I hear statistics about how most people have written a book, gotten famous, discover quantam physics, all before they turn 30, and I think, 'oh, it's okay, because I'm 26,' but every time I have a birthday, all in one day it's 'oh, it's okay, I'm 27', and it doesn't sound as convincing. People who are older than me (99% of my friends) hate it when I say stuff like that, of course, so it's double jeapordy. I've always been considered kind of accomplished for my age, and I hate to think that I'm old enough now that what I've done is expected for my age. I liked it better when I was a little ahead of myself. Pretty soon I'll be a little behind. I think parents don't realize how much being ahead becomes part of your identity when they're pushing it onto their children. I think I'd rather have adjusted at the time when it was appropriate, because being whiny at 27 just isn't as cute, and no one feels any sympathy for you anyway.

5 comments:

Sienna said...

happy birthday late. Very lame to only acknowledge it here on the blog, but I do think about you a lot and your cute family. and i do really hope that you had a happy birthday. as i approach my college graduation and the unfamiliar world of jobs and perhaps more school, I am daunted and disoriented, but I like looking up to people like you and seeing all the different things that you have been able to do/accomplish in jobs, family, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I hope only to be so composed and accomplished by 27 and even to have a baby half as cute as amaya. as you might have been able to tell, my way of blogging is still by just commenting in haphazard capitalization on other people's more interesting lives.

Mariko said...

Sienna, you can blog on my blog any time. Since you are confident and composed at any age, I'm also sure that you will be accomplished.

Damaris said...

what you have ablog and you never told me? I feel seriously left out. I don't have time to read your posts but I already love it. I love the pictures. Oh and You should be a part of the palmer blog, so don't ever feel like a snoop.

Damaris said...

by the way I LOVE that your favorite books are cook books. you are the coolest

Melinda said...

hi mariko. and another lame late happy birthday. "it's not easy to forget the birthday of someone as wonderful as you. but i managed." (that was on a card i stole from the RS closet in Newport)
i'm glad you've recorded amaya's language. i've never seen anything like it! i couldn't copy it if i tried. she's remarkable, just like you.