Thursday, September 23, 2010

Sometimes you just need one.

We were having a rough day. So this was a good break for us.

Yeah, I know. It's filled with nasty chemically sounding ingredients like Red 7 and hydropneumonichloric acid trip (something like that), but it feels so nice in your belly. I was truthfully thinking about the way Europeans just sit and enjoy and really taste and breathe the whole time we were sharing it. Then I remembered I was drinking an Icee.

I'm trying to get myself to take a breather every day and remember that she's only 4. Even if she is willfully disobedient. And even if she has figured out that time out is such a big sham. And that it takes just long enough for me to put Moze down so I can run after her that she can get a good head start.

When my mom was here Amaya asked her, "You used to spank my mom when she was a little girl, right?" My mom glared at me. "You told her that?" Then she turned to Amaya and said, "Well, I was very young. I made mistakes."
Later she was talking about how stubborn I was. It's funny what you remember. I remember always being so surprised that I was in trouble. Like, "OH yeah. I wasn't supposed to do that." 'Cause I knew, but I had temporarily forgotten because I was sort of involved. In doing that thing I wasn't supposed to be doing.

I worry a lot that I'm going to look back on this and think, Man. Couldn't I just have been a little more patient?

I really hope that I'm not messing this up. This whole parenting thing.

4 comments:

Damaris said...

I don't know if it's good or bad but after I hung out with a friend who was being a foster parent to a baby who's birth mom was a complete drug addict and the baby needed to have morphine every 15 minutes I realized that I'm not that sucky of a parent after all. I've been screaming a lot at my kids though so I don't know maybe I'm messing things up too.

With Enzo it's all about what I do and not what I say. With Maria it's al about what she wants and nothing else.

Heidi said...

We all mess up our kids. It's inevitable. And worrisome. She's beautiful.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh my goodness, ain't that the truth. And you will look back and wish you had been more patient. And enjoyed every chemically red 7 acid trip induced moment. It goes so fast. I still wake up sometimes and can't believe we're not in Never never land anymore.

Hey, I have a secret though. I can't tell you yet.

But soon.

LUB the pictures. They are so bee-U-tiful.

i'm erin. said...

I know it! I love them so much. When Mark and I were dating I went and got one all the time. Yummy. and great pics.