Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Mom from the Black Lagoon

2kids1I have two kids and I’m turning into one of those moms.

You know, the kind that eat the food that their toddler has previously drooled.
I am becoming the kind of mom that thinks cold spittle covered food is acceptable eats.

I’m not there just yet, but already I’ve seen the signs.

I consider yellow slimy baby poop the “good kind of poop”. The idea that there is a good kind of poop is strictly a parent thought. I don’t even feel the extreme rushing need to wash my hands following a diaper change. Maybe, theoretically, I don’t even wash my hands. Theoretically. Because it was the good kind of poop.

While wearing my nice clothes I get barfed on. Chunky milk barf. Do I change? No. I just rub it in so you can’t see the chunks.

In basketball shorts all day? Good enough.

Let the girl backwash in my water? No problem.

Put my hair in a bun instead of brushing it? Always.

Dropped the pacifier on the public bathroom floor? Yes.

I’m turning into the snot-covered, drag-all-my-kids-to-the-grocery-store, didn’t-even-notice-he-was-poopy kind of mom.

You may want to buy yourself a bottle of hand sanitizer before I have #3.2kids2


jill said...

So true. Call it survival, or giving up. I try not to take the perspective of outside looking in. It makes it all seem so gross and inhumane.

Melinda Temple said...

it so gross, huh. but we'll grow out of it. i don't know any grandmas that eat kid leftovers anymore. so there's hope. someday my hands won't smell like baby wipes.

becky said...

ha. thanks for making me smile. i think that is all very humorous for some reason right now :)

Mariko said...

I agree about it not being bad for you, I just have a thing against cold spit. Call it the Foodie in me. Although maybe parents are on to something and this could be a culinary rebirth.

Mariko said...

I totally get the heebie jeebies when I see kids dipping crackers into water and then drink the water.
I'll add that to my list of things I can't eat. Spittle covered cheerios, intestines, and cheezit water.
Argh. I was hoping you were coming for CHRISTMAS!

Mariko said...

I should have added that I'm becoming one of those moms who cuts her hair because it's too much to take care of.
Shaving my head doesn't seem so far off.

Mariko said...

Not me. Class-Less.
I did get my eyebrows done recently. They look.... Done.