Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Ask The Universe

Question: Why do the ants think they can leave their carcasses in one corner of my bathroom?
Universe: They leave their carcasses in the middle of the bathroom too, but you walk on those and move them around the rest of the house corners.

Question: Why does peanut butter have to taste so good with chocolate?
Universe: And bananas. You forgot about bananas.

Question: Why does my daughter eat random nastiness off the floor or in the windowsill but refuses to touch my vegan mac and cheese?
Universe: I don't think you really are ready to hear that answer.

Question: Why do parents expect teachers to do the same amount of work for a lot less money?
Universe: Sucks for you.

Question: Why do I even look at Reader's Digest?
Universe: Reader's Digest is anti-time. It sucks the life out of anything it touches.

Question: Why do I even bother scrubbing the floor?
Universe: Because 15 minutes of clean floor feels sooooooooo good.

8 comments:

Stephanie J. Robertson said...

HA! great questions- witty universe. :)

JLPierce Ohana said...

can anyone talk to this universe? i like its logic.

Mariko said...

Sure. I can forward your questions.
Some questions I still haven't heard answers too, however.
The ones that are still outstanding:
Does Amaya have to wake up at before 7 am every morning even if she hasn't had a nap and we put her to bed at 9pm?

Will I ever clean my fridge?

Piglet de' Erin said...

Your Mr. Universe sounds a lot like mine. OH wait...did I just say Mr Universe?

All Hail Serenity!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee

I want to know what you're not ready to hear about vegan mac and cheese!

btw, is it true that school is now out every other Friday?

myimaginaryblog said...

We get the ant carcass piles too, and they only appear in the corners, and there's no way we kick enough to move them all there. I think it's because of a) spiders that like corners, or b) old corner poison left behind by exterminators hired by previous residents. (Those are my working theories.)

myimaginaryblog said...

Oh, and my suggestion for your question about Amaya's waking time is to go ahead and give her a nap and put her to bed earlier; she'll probably still wake up before 7 (don't all kids?,) but *you'll* get more down time during the nap and after her bedtime. (And it's very common for kids to get too little sleep, and very rare for them to get too much. Maybe if she gets more sleep she'll even start liking your mac 'n' cheese.)

Mariko said...

Ugh. I totally wish that would work. We tried that for a while (tried 7:30pm, 8pm, 8:30 pm) and she wakes up before 6.
She will go down for a nap if we walk around in the stroller for an hour, but then she is the nastiest human alive for the hours between the nap and bed. I don't know how it's possible. But you're right that she'll sleep the same even with a nap.
I like your ant theories. Jake laughs about my "crazy ants" rants. I must have some invisible spiders. I do kill about 10 daddy long leg spiders a day, but for some reason I can't even get them all. The particular corner that gets the worst number of ants (I actually did an experiment this week. In one afternoon I cleaned the same corner 4 times, once each hour, and there were still many dead ants every time.) there doesn't seem to be any spider. It's like they touch the area and spontaneously die. Why they keep walking there, who knows.