Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Epiphaniacal


Guys, I don't come up with these realizations very often, so don't laugh.

I realized today: it's hard to do things sometimes.

And then a little later I realized: it's hard to do hard things.

Then in between bites of my 2nd bowl of carb loaded pasta: it's hard to do hard things for extended periods of time.

Now that is deep.

For example, I did my P90x workout plan faithfully for 5 weeks and ate vegan for 40 days (okay, so I missed 2 days). Then I had a crazy week getting ready to leave for a week, then I leaved for a week, and then I had to recover from leaving for a week. [okay, so I have to insert here, I did not lose a POUND during this 5 weeks of intense workout, so maybe I didn't feel very much motivation to continue. I think I did gain a little arm muscle, which has promptly left me, the cad.]

Now I'm like, "Workout? Um, I can't really think right now. I need to eat a bowl of ice cream to clear my brain."

Part of me would love to see Tony Horton just break down and gain 50 lbs, and the other part of me would think: "Man, that sucks." Because as I said, it's hard to do hard things, for a long time.

That's like, triple hard.

I know people would say, "Well, moderately hard things are easier to keep up," but I'm pretty sure that's not true either. Moderately hard things seem as hard to do for me as hard things. Actually, if it's a moderately hard thing, I think, "Oh well, it's not like that was going to do me much good anyway." I'm way more likely to not do it.

Yes, I know. I have the willpower of a human. The weak kind.

p.s. When I was looking for the picture for this post, I found Tony Horton's BLOG! Weird. And guess what he says: Make a plan, stick to the plan and do it... forever!

I'm pretty sure he's an alien. Evidence? Those cheekbones. And the fact that he can do one arm pushups. And probably because he wrote disdainfully about the foodporn industry.

13 comments:

Sandi said...

I have no will power either. It sucks. I have no idea who Tony Horton is!

Damaris said...

mmy ex- neighbor is visiting us from for a week. I haven't seen her in a year and she lost 50lbs. I was like WHAT THE HECK???

I know that she had been trying to loose weight and was always unsuccessful. She told me that she only lost weight after she went off dairy. You were vegan and it didn't help huh?

I'm sure you'll find a way. besides, at least you feel better now that your excercicing.

iMaLLheaRt said...

I tried doing the yoga workout from P90X since I got a yoga mat at Ross for like 8 bucks but I only lasted like half an hour. My hands and head started hurting from all the downward dogs and holding my fat body up. Maybe I should try something else...

sienna said...

i can totally relate. going back to school has been 10x harder than expected. i keep getting really frustrated and then having to remind myself that the only reason i am doing this hard thing is because i want to and sometimes that helps, but other times i just want to go back to my old life where i slept a lot and didn't do nearly as many hard things. but sleeping all the time is so easy that i usually just felt really bad about myself. i think the key is not to do too many hard things at once. for example, you can teach high school and do P90X, but not teach high school, do P90X and be vegan. that's just too many hard things at once. tony horton has a hot bod, but he probably doesn't grade papers, take care of a two year old, and cook amazing food. if he did all that, he really would be an alien. although those cheekbones . . .

April said...

tony horton is in allegiance with the devil....that's why he can do one armed push ups!

Ikaika P. said...

I wasn't able to see you point because I got hung up on the fact that the English teacher actually wrote (not just spoke) the word "leaved" in her post. That's right. According to you, you "leaved for a week." Now that's hard. ;-)

Mariko said...

I like purposefully placed words, and patterns. Left wasn't cutting it.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha Soooo true. So true. About the hard things and the moderately hard things and the Tony Horton is an alien thing.

I think Mario Lopez is an alien too.

And I can't believe you didn't lose a single LB after working out for 5 weeks. That is sooo wrong. I am shaking my fist at the universe right now for you.

So the question is have you gained any LBS after eating ice cream to clear your head?

I always come back from Utah 10 lbs. heavier. Utah just sucks that way.

Syl said...

Okay. So Kegan and I watch the Biggest Loser, right? Right. And the contestants lose tons of weight and we're all like "oh wow!" and "how great!" and that kind of thing. But I keep thinking, "but wait until they get home and don't work out five hours a day and don't eat only fish and asparagus. What if they get fat again?!?" It's hard to be good all the time. Is it really plausible?

Holladay Photo said...

enough of this losing weight stuff- i saw you on sunday and you are definitely thin- you were stunning in the long black dress! i wanted to find you and tell you in person-but you know how it is at church with little ones and callings....patria

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Do you know how hard it is to read the word "hard" 143 times in one post? It's like, not even a word anymore.

Smiths said...

Aaaand I'm caught up on your blog. Sorry I havn't been able to check it and comment on the lovely picture you chose to post of me- do I really look like that? I really do love your writing- i have so many of these same thought, only not so elequently and with a more depressing undertone.

About the exercise thing and not loosing a lb.- you really need to be doing the right kind of workout for your body. For instance, if I lift weights I feel heavy and drained and tend to do less movement for the rest of the day and feel junk. If I go for a good run, swim or do yoga I'm feeling goodafter. I'm in a good mental place and I feel femanine and healthy. It helps me make better eating choices and feel better about myself. That might just be me, but it makes a big diference in my level of motivation too. I also have way more motivation in the morning than in the afternoon. Very little gets done in the afternoon. I'm tired and just want to sit by then. If I get it done in the am I feel good for the rest of the day and can rest when the afternoon hits feeling like I've earned it. The food thing is a mystery- i can't satisfy my cravings EVER. I just want more. The biggest thing-don't be so hard on yourself. YOu are so beautiful. I should mention that more, but I don't want to scare you away, me being a girl and everything.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Truer words were never written. As you get older, they get truer. True story.