Tuesday, November 25, 2008

If you want to be a 21st Century Woman

Do not hesitate to leave the Costco sized box of super sized tampons in plain sight in the bathroom. You can even leave single tampons in easy to reach places around the house. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

If you have a baby, constantly remind "people" (read "students") that you have way more important things to do than cater to their "needs" (read "grade papers within any sort of reasonable time period").

When you cook, use every dish in the house, because now you don't have to clean up. You also don't have to clean up when your husband cooks, because he got the dishes dirty.

Explain to your husband that blogging is a perfectly acceptable way to work on crafting your writing style.

Watching Grey's Anatomy can be totally canceled out by watching "24" or any other action-oriented guy show. It can even make you feel diverse. You can up the ante by gushing about documentaries and foreign films.

Get your literature reading in a little every day, by placing a book on the toilet. I have already finished two books this year.

10 comments:

Ephraim said...

bathroom reading is awesome. I'm on book number 5 or something. that's mixed up with each month of National Geographic that is always in the bathroom.

Ikaika P. said...

This has to be THE BEST blog post of the year so far. You are hilarious, and the fact that you have students who check out your blog makes it even better. You're going to school tomorrow and some kid is going to ask you, "Mrs. Jackson, do you have a tampon I can borrow? I know you have them. You said on your blog last night that you leave them everywhere."

As for the dishes...your poor husband.

Now for bathroom reading...let me just say that I'm on book 7 of the Chronicles of Narnia. Took a while, but I'm almost there. Two pages at a time baby!!!

Kristina P. said...

Yes, I love 24! Ans seriously, Jack is so hot.

Have an amazing Thanksgiving!

Damaris said...

HAHAHAHA you are hilarious...so does this mean that you can poop in peace without having a toddler trying to rush you?
I get to see you in 2 weeks!!!! I am so excited and I get to squeeze Amaya and bug Jake. I am SO excited.

Mariko said...

Oh, it's only in peace because it's at 6 am in the morning. Sometimes she wakes up too (3 out of 5 days) and wants me to read her a book, because now she has me trapped.
I am so excited too!
As for the dishes, it's even better if you use all of them, because then it looks like you did more work, and you totally deserve a break.

mrcody said...

Speaking of foreign films, I highly recommend Head-On and The Edge of Heaven, both German-Turkish productions written and directed by Fatih Akin. Both available on Netflix. They go well with cakes and other desserts, although I don't recommend reading a novel while watching since you have to read the subtitles.

Heidi Ashworth said...

I decided to check in based on CTD's constant invocation of your name--and then I decided I wanted to stay! Very fun blog!

Smiths said...

I thought guys were the only ones that used the bathroom for a library. I'll admit to having used it as a way to get a break. You say this is 21st centery womanhood, but it's not so diferent from what I remember my mom do. I've been neglected for some "flashdance" type aerobics and locked out of my friends house, along with my friend while her mom watched soap opera. We're not doing so bad.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee. Sooo funny you finished 2 books that way. I don't want that image in my brian though so don't tell me which books you read. TMI!

Hey, you got 8 retorts! So proud of you.

But you know Heidi needs reciprocity. Please reciprocate.

I just cleaned out two purses and they each had 7 various sizes of tampons stuffed in various pockets.

21st Century women ROCK!

Jared Scott Greenleaf said...

I'm afraid all I can think about now are soiled and dirty books, and a note to self to not borrow books that you've read.