Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Facts of Life

In honor of The Moth and this week's Andy Borowitz story, I thought I'd write a post with a moral:

"If your 2 year old is bugging you incessantly about eating cheetos at 8 in the morning, and you insist there are none in the house, give them to her once you figure out your husband bought some and was trying to hide them from you behind all the cereal."

I have lost all semblance of nutrition with her. I am so frustrated by the fact that she would rather eat some dust, cockroach poop, or bug bodies she finds on the floor than dinner, that I am just throwing food at her that I think she might actually eat.
What she likes:
Mr. Freeze pops
red apples (she eats a few bites, but only if it is a whole and perfectly good apple, after that we have to finish it)
hot dogs
gold fish
chocolate chips (she climbs up the island in the kitchen and stuffs as many in her mouth as possible before we find her)
the insides of tiny tomatoes
salad dressing
fruit we find hiking, even if it is rotting on the ground
easy mac
chef boyardee
white rice with seaweed
almonds stolen from Pam's house (even though we have the same bag)
Uncle Donald's (McDonald's-- I have NEVER taken her there, I PROMISE)

Except for sweets, she is inconsistent about her "yes" foods.

She refuses to eat bread, grains, or vegetables. Please tell me I am not raising a picky eater. I loathe picky eating. Just ask my brother. I've made a few things from Jessica Seinfeld's book where you hide nutrition through vegetable purees, but she didn't even like those things.
She will never eat if she doesn't like the food. She would much rather go hungry than eat what does not appeal to her, so the old mantra "they'll eat when they're hungry" is totally false.

So tell me, what would YOU do?


Damaris @Kitchen Corners said...

you are raising a picky eater! I think these things are beyond our control.

Masayuki said...

Well, it seems like this WOULD happen to you. Being such a good cook, and always trying crazy things. Plus, look at me! I was picky when I was younger. You might just have to wait for her to go on a mission. Heck, I'll try anything now.

Unknown said...

I wish I knew what to do. I have no idea. maybe you should just put the food you want her to eat on the ground and tell her NOT to eat it. ;P

Ikaika P. said...

You know what I do? Listen to everybody else and take comfort in the fact that my child is not the only one. Because trust me, my son's list is not even half as long as yours. Basically it's: eggs, rice, chicken nuggets (thank goodness for the dinosaur nuggets at costco), saimin noondles (no soup), bread, pasta (plain), cheerios, waffles, yogurt, and anything sweet. I feel your pain.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

She reminds me of Tatum. And you can't force, coax, persuade, coerce Tatum into doing anything she doesn't want to do, especially eating.

Tatum grew out of the yuck stuff though. Now she eats only healthy food. Maybe there is hope for you daughter after all.

Hey, you're verifier actually says trifish. COOL!

I think I'll steal your cheetos story for my next dummy tip. I'll give you credit of course.

Funny Farmer said...

One plus to a personality like that: if you can get them on the right path, peer pressure has no effect. My 14-yo was Stubborn like that as a toddler, and still to this day doesn't give a flying fig what other people think. She does what she thinks is best. Every night I thank my lucky stars that she's a good kid!

Heidi said...

This is pretty common stuff for two year olds. Not all are like that, but it's the age when this kind of thing is most common. If that makes sense. Don't fret, she'll come around.