Going Public

Yeah, I did it. I erased the post. The scandal. Sorry, I'm wimpy, and can't stand up for myself, apparently.
Myrna Marler, in past times, has repeated the quote "Writers are very private people who walk around naked in public" to me, and I guess I only sort of believed it. I just wasn't quite expecting a googling, a searching, and a finding, of a naked person. Certainly not of me. Possibly more likely of someone with a name like "Kitty".
My students often complain about how nasty I am because I let my sarcasm grind their naive and insolent behavior to bits, while I still maintain some level of decency because of my fierce standards in literature, work, and humanity. Plus I let them play Taboo the last five minutes of class sometimes.
So I admit that I was a little ashamed that this post had actually been read by the offendee. Not because it wasn't just, but because it sort of revealed how incredibly spiteful I am. I don't take defense lightly, mind you. I get very antsy about being defensive. It sort of ruins the whole image that I'd like to maintain. I'd rather be the sort of person who walks away from such an awful conversation and just says, to myself, "That person has a problem and that's too bad", rather than the person who says, to others, "Now what is HER problem?"
Then again, I have a great suspicion of people who can just forget things and move on with their lives. Just who do they think they are, making the rest of us look bad?

Foodies

If you are at all as interested in food as I am, then you must check out "Diary of a Foodie". It is a show on PBS but you can download the episodes on itunes from www.diaryofafoodie.org
Only season one is available with the full episodes, but there are quite a few so it will take you a little while to get through those. The first episode is about China, and the only problem with this show is that I immediately want to pick up and go to wherever they are showing food. I also have an obsession with cookbooks, so this show does nothing to quell that.
I also am loving the book Hungry Planet: What the World Eats, which photographs families around the world with a week's worth of their food (prepared and ingredients). It is fascinating, and the best part, is that there is a recipe for every section. It does make me feel sick when I look at the American families versus a refugee family in Bhutan (it even breaks down how much everything costs). The stories are amazing and I think that if everyone should get this book, and no one even paid me to say that.

Evidence of an Advanced Mind

What's that you say? Your child is reading? Identifying Australian mammals? Creating mixed media collages? Speaking in full sentences? Mine is watching "Adventure Time" and appreciating its nuanced comic genius. Oh, and saying "Shake it, Yeah" while dancing to the closing song.

Still think she's just Jackson?

Some classics of me I came across when I was home in Oregon... I usually hate all pictures of me, but I have to admit that I like these ones. I think I look pretty similar to Amaya, so everyone can stop saying she looks just like her dad. Not that he's not handsome, but you know. It gets old. The black and white one looks just like Amaya, I think. Old pictures look so much better, don't they? And my parents are so cute. It will be harder for Amaya to say that when she's looking back on our pictures. We pulled out the kimono and got a few of Amaya, so here's one of her too.

Lent-ed.

I thought I should say that Lent is officially over for me. I have decided that I will continue to eat sweets sparingly, but it was nice to dive into a triple chocolatey fudge cake concotion tonight, at Jimmy Mak's in Portland. Yesterday I ate a piece of lemon roll cake and a chocolate square, and I definitely felt like I ate a lot of sugar. I guess I'm now climatized to sugar on the 2nd day, since I ate that chocolate cake and a half a piece of chocolate. I had to really practice some mental exertion in abstaining from the many other choices of sweets today. I totally admit that when I knew I couldn't eat anything like that, it was a lot easier to say no, even if I did miss out on some good treats (which I remember, including: a pomegranate soda float with vanilla haagen dazs, brownies and other delectable bars of lusciousness at Jarred's wedding, chocolate chip cookies that Jake made and ate all of --even keeping them in the freezer, Grenadian chocolate bars being passed around at Pam's house, doughnuts from various bakeries, mochi ice cream, a chocolate tasting party with fancy world varieties... the list goes on, and I remember it, believe me). For most of Lent I told myself, "Oh, I'm definitely eating that when I'm done with this." I haven't, yet.
Was it spiritual? Well, in a way. I didn't keep up with my spiritual goals as well as that physical one (I think it's easier for me to do without something than to start something-- as far as habits are concerned), but I did feel good about it. I think it was nice to be physically connected with my cravings, if that makes sense.
I don't think I feel the need to quit sweets forever. Not because it's too hard-- I imagine it would get easier and easier, as it was for those 40 days-- but because you miss out a lot on social eating. I didn't realize how social eating sweets can be. People feel uncomfortable when you don't partake of dessert, or I used to make a treat when friends came over. Some people might say that's what's wrong with our society or socializing, but I think it's actually a positive thing. Eating sweets should be a social thing, not a thing you do by yourself (well, at least not all the time). I really think it's perfectly fine to use it as a common experience to bring people together and relate in that way.
I've started reading "French Women Don't Get Fat", which is a narrative/lifestyle book (Shelley passed it on to me), and I find that I'm agreeing with her idea. Eat with your mind, not just your stomach. Enjoy your food, eat food you really like (not just stuff that's healthy or fat-free), but savor it instead of stuffing it. I'm definitely not an advocate of dieting, counting calories, or any other form of food denying--- Indulgence shouldn't seem so counter to being healthy.
So I'm eating sweets again, and I'm being healthy too.