When I got pregnant this time, I thought, “This time I won’t be paranoid, because I’ll know what to expect.”
Well, this one doesn’t know how to stay with the program. Everything has been different.
At 29 weeks I’m having, what I’m assuming, are crazy braxton hix that make me feel like my stomach is just going to squeeze itself so hard that the entire bubble will fold in on itself. Oh, and they hurt. Like, are painless contractions supposed to hurt?
This has been happening for about 4 weeks, and everything is fine with the baby, so I know I’m just paranoid. I keep telling myself to get through until the end of school, but we all know I’ll probably go two weeks over my due date anyway.
Mostly I just know I’m a total wimp when it comes to pain. I’ve been reading books on the Bradley method and the whole thing is just freaking me out. People say, “Oh, you forget the pain.” But no. I don’t. Every dream I’ve had this week has been about labor.
Jake showed up after his swim today with the gnarliest blue bubble sting ever. It looked like the king of blue bubbles wrapped around his body about 30 times. I swear. He looked like a burn victim. At least half of his body was completely covered in huge, puffy lines of welts—torso, arms, face, hands, legs, feet. Thank goodness he doesn’t swim in the nude. He wouldn’t let me take a picture.
Looking at it was like watching a horror movie. So hard to look at. So hard to look away.
I asked him, “Does it hurt?”
Sheesh. I can’t figure out if he has no nerve endings, or if I just have pain so rarely that I cringe at the first tinge.
Can you imagine if I was in labor and the doctor came in and asked, “Are you in pain?”
Wouldn’t I just be the biggest bad a** around?