W. H. A. T.
Maybe it's under the car.
Okay. Think. Where did you see it last?
Alrighty, so if it's not in the trunk of the car, then where could it be now? I'm sure I must have put them somewhere around here.
I did something wrong here. I forgot some crucial step in my decision making today. Now, I need to rewind and happen to come back to the car at about 12:30. Then I would have seen that they were taking my stuff, and I would have run after them and scared them away, and my stuff would be safe.
ARRRRRRRGH. How can I catch them in the act?
Look around. Maybe they're still here. Is that woman putting a suitcase in her car?
No. That's a baby.
Okay, think. What was in the suitcase? Clothes, gifts, computer... AAAAHHH! My computer!
Weird. They didn't take my backpack with my computer. PHEW. That is crazy lucky. I mean, WOW. I am so awesome to have put all my expensive stuff in my backpack.
Why didn't I put my work papers in my backpack! WHY didn't I put my P90X DVD's in my backpack? Why didn't I put my awesome new Japanese brush in my backpack that I can never find again?
WHY didn't I put my suitcase in my backpack?!
Calm down. Really. There must be some other stuff that I don't actually care about.
Toothpaste. I don't really care about my toothpaste.
Well... I did just buy it. And it was Tom's toothpaste. I never buy that in Hawaii. Dang.
I don't really care about my toothpaste, but I kind of do.
I also had some socks.
Is this a message from God that I shouldn't be here? Does he send messages through luggage thieves? Should I be interpreting this?
I totally should not have paid for my luggage to be brought here. It cost $15 per bag! I should have just thrown them in the trash before I got to the airport. That would have been so much smarter.
I even paid for the luggage cart! TWICE!
If those luggage thieves were here, I would tell them what an inconvenience they've caused me. They would feel pretty dumb if I could just talk to them.
Is that my luggage over there?
That's a small shrub.
I really wish I wasn't so materialistic. Then this wouldn't even matter.
And I wish I was rich, so this wouldn't matter.
And I wish I had put my suitcase in my backpack.